I am still here

Published August 16, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

Through all the therapy and through all the Dr. appointments I often wondered who I would be when it was done. Would my borderline personality disorder be magically cured? Would it help my fibromyalgia from flaring up? And if it did and I was back to a healthier me, who would I become?

I certainly wouldn’t still be the same person I was. The illness had become a part of how I defined myself.They had become such a big part of my idenity tgat I couldn’t imagine who I’d be if they were gone. “You’ll be healthier, you’ll be better,” the Drs said. Yet I oftened wondered who decided I was worse the way I was. Just because I was different then societal norms didn’t mean I was worse, did it?

But I finshed the therapy program and although I’m not miraculously cured, I am better equiped to handle my emotions better. This is turn has lowered my stress which has lessened my fibro flare ups. Yet I’m still a kind hearted person who, yes is a bit sensitive, but now knows to screen the people I go out of my way for. If everyone doesn’t like me it doesn’t break me anymore. I’m still free spirited, a little wild and a compassionate human being. I just take better care of myself and I know now who I want to be. The most important thing about all of the hard work though is I am still me.

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Three Minutes

Published July 22, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

What can one write in three minutes, that can be worth anything.

If only I could stop the clock and buy myself some more time. Yet the challenge of leaving three minutes worth of thoughts here appeals to me.

I am thinking about my walk to work and how different nights at a fast food chain can be depending on the night of the week.

And with that three minutes are over. I’m sad to see them go.

Birthday Thoughts

Published July 12, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

Time never stops it keeps on growing

Even when these old bones are screaming and moaning

Life should be lived like it’s a wild ride

There are way too many things I want to do before I die

Another year passes and I’m working the grind

Can’t escape the routine it’s gonna eat me alive

Little steps do something new everyday

So when my time comes I can say I did it my way
~The Incidental Scribe

The Filter

Published June 29, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

Oh yes, I can take off years, but are you really seeing me. Does this face tell the story of my life or the experience you should see? What if I was to tone it down? How would the next picture be?

More lines and blemishes still this could take a while. I’m not made of plastic or a painting with Mona Lisa’s smile. What if there was no filter? Would I still be in style?

There are my laugh lines and freckles, all the things that make me real. This is the face that does not let others say how I should look or feel. So ladies if you’re with me stop these beauty ills.

Summer Blues

Published June 19, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

I love summer. I love sunshine and warm days. Yet it is not even offically summer here and I’m all ready sad.

It’s too darn hot! I feel like people who deny climate change should have to sit out in the sun and humidity for hours on end until they agree that our summers in Canada are certainly getting hotter and hotter. For someone like me who walks to work and risks getting heat stroke, the elderly and anyone with breathing issues this weather poses a major risk.

We need to start working harder on a way to reverse the damage on our Ozone. We can’t keep hoping other generations will solve this problem. Because the world will burn before they get the chance. I don’t want to have the summer blues any longer.

So who is with me? Lower our carbon foot print. Invest in environmental research. There is so much we can do. It’s time to take a larger stand.

~ The Incidental Scribe

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You Don’t What You’ve Got Til It’s Gone

Published May 31, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

Oh I am so sorry I ever took my pinky toe for granted. I never really thought about it, until I stubbed it hard enough this weekend that I caused a hairline fracture. The constant pain I am now in is a reminder that we had it very good.

Now I’m not blaming anyone other then myself. I was the fool who didn’t pay enough attention to you. Now that you are all swollen and purple I regret not giving you more pedicures and foot rubs. I promise my darling toe to treat you right from now on.

I promise to watch where I walk. I will paint you pretty colours. I will celebrate you in all your balancing glory. You have my word that once you are healed I shall never mistreat you again.

~ The Incidental Scribe

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Waiting

Published May 21, 2016 by Incidental Scribe

Time is all that stands between us
As I sit here pondering life
Tick tock goes the clock
And still you have not arrived
I just wait and wait for you to show
And fill the depths of my soul
Oh delivery driver please hurry up
I’m hungry….that is all

~ The Incidental Scribe