I apologize for my absence over the summer months. I was busy with college prep courses, therapy and trying to get out and about. I’m hoping to get more blogging done now that the weather is cooling down. Hopefully things you will all enjoy. My first blog back however will be of a more serious nature.
The time I have been self reflecting this summer has been interesting. I realized that I honestly do not know myself. I haven’t really known myself since I was a little girl. I change who I am to try and win over everyone around me. So I decided it’s time to dig deep. To truly look at who I want to be and stick to my guns about it.
I’m looking for the confidence to not care if people don’t like me, to be okay with myself and that can be hard to find in this media driven world. We’re bombarded with messages to be better, be different and buy more to fit in. To go against this grain can be hard and challenging. Yet I realize I can achieve two out of three media messages.
I can be better by bettering myself. I can be kinder, have faith in myself and treat others how I want to be treated. I all ready do two out of the three but my motives are wrong. Instead of being kind because I want to be liked, I should be kind because that’s who I want to be. I shouldn’t need people to recognize my kindness and praise me for it. I really am a kind person and staying true to that will make me happier.
As for my faith in myself that is something I will need to work on. It has come to my attention recently that the years of bullying has really taken its toll. I have negatively talked to myself and built up all the bad things that have been said about me. So the real work now begins. I need to start listening to the good things my friends and family say about me and believe in the great things I all ready know.
There’s a lot of work to be done, but I know deep in my heart I can do it. I will find my way back to that little girl and help her remember who she wanted to be. Together we’ll be the best Incidental Scribe yet.
~ The Incidental Scribe