Today was a really good day for me. Usually my mind is utter chaos and I can’t focus on the future or what I want to do with my life. Today I broke through that regular routine and actually had some great moments.
Let me explain a little I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2009. For those of you who don’t know about this condition it is chronic pain condition that comes with extreme fatigue and a host of other symptoms. I thought my life was over. I tried medication to deal with the symptoms, but it didn’t seem to help. I started missing a lot of work and finally had to stop working. I couldn’t afford the medications so I weaned myself off of them and pretty much had given up.
Then I started DJing again which allowed me to get my confidence in myself back. As well as three months ago I was referred to a therapist for my depression and he diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Now I’m in an 18 month therapy program which is supposed to help me get that in check, yet an amazing side effect is I’ve been having less bad fibro days. So dealing with less stress from my mental state is getting my life back.
My therapy facilitators say, “you don’t have to talk about your condition because it’s no one’s business, but your own.” I disagree as I think not talking about it makes me seem less human. If we talk about these things and their cures we might help others feel less alone.
So after 3 months of taking the mentalization therapy (out of the 18) I’m starting to see really positive changes and hope for a better future. Not every day is perfect, but no one has a perfect life. Today I have decided I want to go back to school and try to find a career. I don’t have to give up DJing all together, but I will have to do it less. It is a sacrifice I need to make to get where I want to be.
Then I found out my local college offers free college prep courses. This is awesome because I’ve been out of school for so long that I will need a refresher. Besides the program of study I’m looking at is biotechnology which is heavy with math. Math has never been my strong point so taking a grade 12 college math prep course will allow me to test myself to see if I really want to put in the work to be in a field of science where math will be involved. It is a great opportunity though and it has me feeling really refreshed and ready to take on the world.
To top off this amazing day of revelations and future planning my boyfriend decided an impromptu fishing trip on the river was needed. I finally got to sit on solid ice and do some jigging. The river was quiet and peaceful.A nice relaxing evening. Just what the Dr orders when I get too excited about the future.
We had been on the water for about 20 minutes when my boyfriend said “I think something is testing out my line. ”
“How do you know?” Was my reply as it had been ages since I had caught a fish.
“Oh you’ll know when you get one. Don’t worry. ” Wouldn’t you know it in less then a minute I got a bite. I set the hook like I had been practicing on my Wii fishing games and reeled in my catch. My boyfriend helped by pulling the four pound Pike out of the hole for me.
My first fish in forever and boy was I excited. I think it was the perfect end to the day. Cleaning it so I could eat it wasn’t pleasent, but I do love fish and seafood and I was determined to eat my catch.
It’s a messy process and as you start the poor thing is still alive, so I did feel a bit guilty. If I’m going to be a fishing girl though I’m not going to waste it and he had my hook too good to release him without major damage. So being my dinner instead of another bigger fish’s seems okay.
I still wonder if there is an old nature ritual I could do to thank the river and the fish for supplying me with such a lovely meal and exciting catch. I do follow the conservation rules so I’m not over fishing. I guess that’s the best I can do is be a responsible fishergal. In case you were wondering Pike out of the St Lawrence river is really yummy.
Thank you for reading my random thoughts for the week. I hope it was a little entertaining. Remember to check out my Facebook page. Have a great night.
~ The Incidental Scribe